What did your parents teach you about love, on purpose or not?

Everyone carries a model of love they absorbed long before they could think critically about it — a set of assumptions about how relationships work, what's normal, what's acceptable, what to expect. This model was built from observation, usually of the first relationship you ever witnessed in close proximity. It shapes what feels familiar, what triggers comfort, and what triggers alarm, often without the person knowing it's operating. Mature partners know what their model is, where it serves them well, and where it creates problems. The phrase 'on purpose or not' is important — it acknowledges that the lessons weren't always conscious or intentional. The child of parents who resolved conflict through silence learned that silence is how conflict gets resolved. The child of parents who showed love through criticism learned to read criticism as caring. Ask this question gently and listen for the model, not just the answer they give.