They distinguish between compatibility and convenience

The comfort of a familiar dynamic is seductive and can be easily mistaken for deep compatibility. Two people who have been together for years, who have built a life together, who know each other's habits and rhythms — they can be profoundly compatible or they can be profoundly convenient, and the difference is not always obvious from inside the relationship. Emotionally mature people occasionally ask themselves the difficult question: do I love this person, or do I love how easy it is right now? This isn't an invitation to sabotage functioning relationships with unnecessary self-examination. It's a recognition that staying together out of inertia is not the same as choosing each other, and that the distinction matters — for the health of the relationship, and for the integrity of both people in it. The relationship that is actively chosen, even after the easy early stages, has a different quality than the one that is simply continued because leaving would be complicated.