Overdressing or wildly underdressing

Effort is attractive. Performance is not. There's a difference between dressing in a way that says 'I wanted to look good for you' and dressing in a way that says 'I want you to see how impressive I can be.' The first is warm. The second is quietly exhausting, because it sets an expectation that neither of you can sustain past the first impression. And showing up in yesterday's gym clothes when the other person made effort sends its own signal — that you didn't think the occasion warranted any. A reliable rule: dress the way you would if a friend whose opinion you respected was dropping by unexpectedly. Presentable without being theatrical. Something that represents you accurately rather than the aspirational or the careless version of you. A first date is a soft introduction to how you actually live, and your appearance is part of that introduction. Get it roughly right and it disappears; get it very wrong in either direction and it becomes the thing they remember.